TITLE: Red Snatch
AUTHOR:  Wylfcynne
E-MAIL ADDRESS: Wylfcynne@aol.com   

Originally posted to Ephemeral on Monday 3 June 2002
SPOILERS: none
RATING: R for some language
CLASSIFICATION: MSR 155
SUMMARY: would be longer than the piece.  Read it, instead!
FEEDBACK:   the Wylf howls at the moon for feedback...

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Red Snatch by Wylfcynne


"Hey, Mulder!  Is Scully a natural redhead?  Is her snatch red,
too?"

Mulder regarded Agent Hansen calmly, all too aware that the
entire FBI cafeteria was listening to this exchange, and
desperately grateful that Scully was not here, yet.

"I wouldn't know," he replied and turned away, hoping to end it.

Hansen wouldn't let it lie, however.  "C'mon, Mulder!  Share
with the class!  You gotta be jumpin' her bones...!  You two
been locked up in that basement together for years...!"

Mulder ignored him.

"What, are you queer or something?  Or is she a lesbo?"

He couldn't let that slide.  Mulder smiled a slow, angelic smile. 
"I'm not gay, and neither is she."

"So?  Is her snatch red, nor not?"

Mulder was turning back, so he could watch Hansen's face,
when he caught sight of Scully standing frozen in the doorway. 
>From her expression, he was certain she was debating which
man to shoot first.  He hid a smile.

"I'll never know, Hansen," Mulder sighed theatrically, letting his
gaze slip over Scully as if he had not seen her there.

"I knew it!" Hanson crewed.  "The bitch has bigger balls than
you do, doesn't she, Mulder?"

Mulder spread his hands.  "I'm colorblind.  Sorry."  

With that Mulder simply walked away, joining Scully at the door
and escorting her away from the attention of the vulgar, his
hand at the small of her back, as usual.

End